Love Truly Does Win
Sometimes I get really pissed when I see what's going on in the world. And it's not because I don't like people. It's because I know the greater human nation is missing the point on a lot of things. It's also because I know without a doubt that change is easier than we think. The safety, peace, harmony and love we all crave is within reach. It's totally doable. It's because I love so fiercely.
Sometimes the world overwhelms me. I get angry and frustrated and need to rant, hence my last blog post. Which is fine. Except that I'm an energy healer. I know how to hold a space of healing for others, to channel love and light from the universe right through you if you want it. Most of the energy healers I know are all peace and love; they're blissful and sweet, gentle.
Sometimes I just want to punch someone in the face, right? Not so energy healer of me. But true. I've been struggling with how to find a more enlightened way of feeling and then this morning in the gym a woman asked me for some training advice and she asked my name. She said she refers to me as "the nice lady in the gym" and that made me laugh out loud. So ok then, I'm still mostly offering goodness out to the world. Check.
Most of the time I'm delighted with all the energy I receive, with animals, trees and spirits talking to me, but sometimes I realize how much easier it would be to not hear it. To not be the weird one. To not be the one who has to wait outside because the spirits in the Tower of London are too intense. To not be the one who drives past a car accident on the highway and can tell you that someone just died (as I break out in a full sweat and feel pain spike in my own chest). It must be easier to be the one who doesn't know. But I do know.
It can feel perfectly natural to have a conversation with a whale one morning or the spirit of a nun at the Academy, and then freak out later and question how strange that is and whether I'm crazy.
Me: Am I completely crazy?
Lorraine: You fucking talk to trees and spirits, you think?!!
Thanks for that friend, haha!
(for those who don't know her, Lorraine is one of my best friends ever and an amazing human on every level who shows up unflinchingly for her life. I love you madly, woman!)
I've decided of course that I'll take the magic over the silence; I accept connection; I'll feel the pain for the privilege of receiving, connecting, engaging, and living fully awake. I may rant and swear sometimes and want to punch someone, but I also delight in the wonder of each experience in that sacred, connected, profoundly beautiful space. There is no bliss better than that. Love truly does win. Sometimes I'll get quiet while I regroup. I might 'lone wolf' it for a week or so, then I'll show up again ready to serve with love and light.
An energy healer doesn't have to be all peace and love all the time; she can also be a warrior and earth shaker, and show up ready to rumble with the gods ;)